capiz shells, vintage carved wooden spoon and fork wall display, air dry clay, acrylic, coated iron

The giant wooden spoon and fork wall decor, ubiquitous in every Filipino home, represented the central role that food played in our family and community: love, generosity, and strength in togetherness. But as a young girl, I never quite fit in; I was often told I was too outspoken and asked too many questions. I was faulted for not wanting to sing on stage, for being an introvert, and for not being whatever a young Filipina-American was supposed to be. My greatest sin was wanting to be an artist - something my parents and elders could never understand or support. "Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit" is a Latin quote attributed to Christopher Marlowe and translates as "That which nourishes me also destroys me." The spoon cradles a heart made entirely of capiz shells, and the fork stabs straight down into it. It symbolizes that understanding that my family, community, and culture loved and shaped me, but in ways that weren't always healthy. I cannot separate the good from the bad.